Saturday, April 10, 2010

I didn't create this blog with the idea that I would be writing very much. I had hoped to just post fun pictures that I took as I learned how to use my new camera and share them with family and friends. After events that occurred yesterday, I will start writing to share our hearts, feelings and progress of our sweet Joe as he struggles with something so foreign to us. Yesterday afternoon Joe came in from playing outside with a pain in his abdomen. The pain increased so fast and with such intensity that he was wailing and screaming upstairs. I decided to call my neighbor to watch the other boys and I drove him to the nearest Emergency Room at Weatherford Regional. I carried him in like a baby in my arms and that fetal position made him feel better. He wanted me to hold him like that the whole time and not sit down but his 63 pounds got really heavy fast and I encouraged him to please let me hold him on my lap. After I held him standing, sitting, standing, sitting, standing, sitting...he fianlly let me put him on the ER bed. Then the wait started...I was hoping for gas pains, then I started to think what if it was apendicitis but never in my deepest imagination would I have ever have thought I would have heard "lesion on kidney ruptured...possibly benign, possibly malignant." What! My healthy 7 year old boy who runs everywhere he goes with a huge grin on his face and his tight curly hair (when it's not cut so short)...could he have Cancer? How can this be? We were transfered to Cook's Children's Hospital in Fort Worth by ambulance and Daddy was on his way to meet us. Joe was starting to feel better after the I.V., vomiting, morphine, tests and other medicines. Are you sure it isn't just gas and we can go home soon? Elevated white blood cells and a mass or two found during the tests show that it is not going to be that easy. Our priorities suddendly change full direction. Lord, why is this happening? More tests and lab reports finally put a possible diagnosis...Wilms Tumor. I don't know anything about what the doctor is saying and Kevin is not in the room to listen. Joe is in the room but distracted by the T.V. so he doesn't notice me starting to cry. I got a piece of paper so I could write down the information so I could tell Kevin and try to remember these details...malignant, kidney removed, spread to liver or adrenal glands, surgery, chemo, radiation...it's all a blur. Now we wait again.

Joe is having a 3 hour MRI that will hopefully give us some more information as to what will happen next. I am getting anxious. How can this happen to my baby boy? What does the future hold. What is Joe thinking and feeling? How are his brothers doing? It is all going fast and feels like a dream. I know it is serious and it scares me to death.

I also know God has a plan and I know His plan is perfect - I know God has a plan for Joe. For I know the plans I have for Joe, declares the Lord, plans to prosper him and not to harm him, plans to give him a hope and a future. (Jeremiah 29:11) You are his refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble (Psm 46:1) Hear our voice when we call, O Lord; be merciful to Joe and answer us. (psm 27:7) Let us taste and see that the Lord is good, blessed are those that takes refuge in Him. (Psm. 34:8) May we believe that you will do all these things for him and not doubt. (James 1:2-6)

Joe is back from his MRI, waking up, and hungry! He hasn't eaten since noon yesterday. He is making up for it now. He is in good spirits.

Kevin and I got a chance to visit with the oncologist regarding the MRI results. Until they know differently (which is when they have the tumor in their hands) they are assuming that it is a Stage 3 Wilms tumor as this would be more common. There was some rupturing of the tumor on the kidney that places it at Stage 3 rather than Stage 2. The more important factor will be whether the tumor is favorable (not very aggressive) or unfavorable (aggressive). The treatment for Stage 3 favorable tumor will include removal of the tumor and kidney and hopefully no other organs. It will also be followed by chemotherapy and/or radiation. A Stage 3 favorable tumor has a good success rate with treatment and most treatment can be done outpatient. Please pray with us for a favorable tumor to be found or better yet one that is benign! Our God is BIG!

Joe is resting peacefully now. Kevin and I are with him. The surgery is expected to be Monday and tomorrow should be uneventful. I will try to update this blog with any new information we get as quickly as possible.